The once whole
- raqueloneloveheali
- May 18, 2016
- 2 min read
The now empty
Once whole
More empty
Ever know love, the real kind of love, follow you to the moon dance amongst the stars hold you when you cry kinda love
She knew what love was to her, some days it was pain.
Other days, sweet love to the moon dance amongst the stars, love, she was happy complete
She had a family
She was complete
She thought this, this was love.
The Love of a husband and a father
She was complete
Then one night the moon rose, it rose higher than ever before and she saw, for the first time, his pain, and she felt it as well.
She felt a little empty, a lot alone, it was a bad night, followed by worse days, overrun by sadness, torture and the love she thought she knew, was no more.
She saw for herself, for the first time the truth, that was love, it was, but not true, not pure , not real to the moon dance amongst the stars love. She was now empty, empty like a cold beach after the sun no longer rises, empty like the desert without rain, empty as she could of never imagined to be …. She screamed, yelled, pleaded, begged, she wanted his love, better than before, she wanted his again but not the same, better now…he was not the one to change for her. He could not, he didn’t want to, not for her, his mind was made, “You want this life, you need this life, you can not change, what is not broken, you are mine, and mine alone, sit there, and wait for me to come home!” He said to her. She didn’t want it, not anymore, she sharpened her dagger, she prepared for battle, “I want what God has promised me, a life of love, a life with one to fight beside me, not against me and for me, I do not want to wait any longer, not for you, not this lie, not anymore!” She swings the best she knows how…she misses, he strikes her, she swings again, and finally she kicks as hard as she can and he is no more!
She stood, not feeling the freedom she imagined, she now had to find all the pieces she lost along the way, she had to find her old self and her new self. She had to find who she was without him, without that almost true love.
Her journey found her climbing mountains with her little ones in tote, her journey found her on muddy paths and dessert slopes. Her journey found her men that promised her the stars. She pushed them out and pulled them in….
She found herself at the end.
The trouble is, the once whole, whole from fake truths and hopeless hopes now are emptier still, less ready to fall for the love they deserve, if they’ll ever know it at all. The once whole on empty truths are empty ….. Alone….broken….hopeless…battered and bruised!
She seeks him, now that she feels hole again, she seeks for the love she feels was promised, her right in this earth….she might wait in pain forever….in pain battleing loving her little ones, alone!
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